Thailand Holiday

Sixteen hours of flight and I had arrived. There is always something satisfying for me whenever I reach the Asian continent. Here I am at my happiest, my most relaxed, myself. 

This was my second time to Thailand. My first adventure was seventeen years ago at the age of eighteen. Love obsessed, young, childless, it was an amazing adventure. This is when I feel in love with the continent.  Since then I have travel around Asia, and never tire of a repeat. Fast forward 17yrs and here I am again, only this time I have two children and a husband in tow. 

A poem is always the best I can begin with to express my feelings of aesthetics to returning:

Dark is the night my
feet touch the ground
Feelings of excitement and confusion
Children grip as though they would be taken 
from my bosom. 
Eyes wide open from lack of sleep
I gaze far into the distance of a place once known
An old friend I have not seen for years gone past
Returning to show how much I have changed and yet
stayed the same.
The smell of the air
filled with long eaten curries, duran, and sugar
I salivate. 
We are strangers 
you don't remember me, but I have cherished you in my mind
as though I would never see you again
The sound of voices grab my attention
the roundness in the pronunciations of language 
still familiar to me
a chant of sayings 
and yet I can't not read your words.


The air is warm, moist, quiet
Dawn has found it's way and now I too must find mine
Hello old friend

Taxi ride 
High on life 
I absorb the journey
My eyes linger at the orange lights 
and endless ads of facial expressions 
of beauty. 
One after the other 
same but different
I am still in love 
I still remember you 
I still need you
streets empty with no welcome

as I make my way home

Tuks Tuks I see line the streets
parked form the day of earning
head to tail they follow through 
waiting for the morning.
My stomach turns with excitement 
hungry for my first meal 
to taste the aesthetics of Khoa San 
a memory that never went sour
food for food I eat my belly content
a sip of coconut a day
each sip washing my heart
massaging me into comfort
Smiling faces 
hustle and bustle  
putting pride aside 
I admire the courage 
I admire the strength 
I admire their faith in me
when can we go to eat?
I wish to be you 
I wish the best for you 
I wish I could ease your need 
mama I'm hungry 
mama I'm tired 
mama I need to sleep 
mama please hold me 
mama what is this heat?
can't we just rest here ?
why can't I go there?

fast boats and ninja skills
to the temple we must go 
climb the stairs 
feel the walls, the space, the energy of time
take in the movements of people and friends
stare across the the distant sky 
its beauty 
its calmness 
its patients with strangers passing through
how many feet have you felt upon you
how many hands have touched you unwilling 
without care 
without permission 
and yet admired 
A monk walks past 
our eyes cannot meet 
I cannot see his smile
slow steps 
mind afar
a bowl of prayers he holds 
 Toxic air I breathe in slow
my lungs fill up with smoke 
what can I do? This is part of you
A flaw I hope will go
fast cars
motor bikes 
new memories made
the kind that holds your heart
family of three in tow
you can cross the road 
but they won't hold 
so hustle as you go 
I love you dearly 
I can't not bare to leave 
I wish you'd ask me to stay
but I know I can't 
and you understand that this was never going to be for long
I will think of you 
So long good friend 
Lets not leave it too long 
till we meet again 
next night.